


A Very Merry Halloween

by ToastyBagel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Script Format, Spooky, idk how to tag it, vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastyBagel/pseuds/ToastyBagel
Summary: As movie directors, Gail and Meredith bring film to life. Literally. Can they escape a horror movie of their own creation?
Kudos: 1





	A Very Merry Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! this is kind of a spin-off of an original story i wrote forever ago!
> 
> Gail is non-binary, Meredith is poc, they have an astronaut daughter, i know i should write abt them more often bc they’re rlly cool and they give me endless inspiration so pls leave comments and kudos if u wanna see more of them!

GAIL

Well, I’m here. Why do you even need me here this early on Halloween?

MEREDITH

Well, it’s complicated, really. The first movie we made got cancelled due to...well... _ that _ scene. Now, we’ve been given a more family-friendly script and twelve hours to make this movie.

GAIL

I can’t believe this… (GAIL paces across the room.) Well, what does the new script look like?

MEREDITH

You won’t like it…

GAIL

Well, if I  _ have  _ to make a new movie, I might as well read the script first. Besides, how bad could it possibly be? (GAIL takes the script from MEREDITH. They flip through the pages, furrowing their brows.) Is this a horror film or a Hallmark Christmas movie? We  _ can’t  _ make this. It’s going to ruin our reputation.

MEREDITH

We have to make something, and this is the only script we have that we can use.

GAIL

God… Wait- this might sound insane, but what if we keep this script and change it to make the story better! After all, if everything I say happens on screen, we could put whatever we want in this!

MEREDITH

That’s crazy. You know we’re not supposed to change any part of the script.

GAIL

I know that...but I was never told why I can’t change the story, so I just assumed it was one of those little pointless rules that our boss only keeps in place so that we-

MEREDITH

If you fuck with the story, it won’t work out the way you want it to. Look, this script made for  _ this plot _ . If you change this world, they’re not gonna like it. You can use the characters and setting you want to write your own script from scratch, but you can’t change the one that’s already written.

GAIL

We don’t have time to write an entirely new story… Maybe this is a chance I’m willing to take. Just small changes, okay? We can only make small changes in order to make it more...spooky!

MEREDITH

Okay, okay, fine. If it doesn’t work out, though, we’re reading exactly what is written in there and making the movie we were given.

GAIL

Deal. Trust me, you will  _ not  _ be disappointed.

(GAIL crosses the room to stand behind a podium, where they place the script. MEREDITH steps onto the sidelines.)

GAIL

(GAIL reads from the script.) It was a sunny morning in New York, but little did the people of the city know that something sinister was abound.

(The set on the stage changes into a bustling city, filled with life.)

GAIL

There was an old house on the outskirts of the city that just so happened to be the home of one of the most successful bakeries in the area. However, this popularity soon declined after a rumor led the entire city to believe the property was haunted by the original owners. Business slowed, eventually leading the little bakery almost to bankruptcy. However, there’s one man who sees opportunity in this place, and he’s going to bring it back to its former glory.

(ACE steps through the door of the old, victorian house. A small bell rings as he does so. EVERLY, standing behind the counter, turns to face him.)

EVERLY

Welcome to The Cake Walk, darlin’. What can I get for ya today?

ACE

You’re Everly Owens, correct?

EVERLY

I surely am. Why do you ask?

ACE

I’ve got a sort of...business proposition...that I’d like to bring to your attention-

(GAIL rings a bell on the podium, pausing the scene.)

GAIL

Meredith, did you hear that?

MEREDITH

Hear what?

GAIL

Ace. He hesitated when he first brought up the business proposition. It’s perfect! He can be our killer!

MEREDITH

Come on, it’s just a little detail in the scene. He’s the dorky, anxious guy, not a killer trying to cover his tracks. 

GAIL

But this is a halloween movie! If he’s not the villain, who is? 

MEREDITH

Fine, just choose the next person who walks into the bakery to be the killer. We can’t mess with the main couple.

GAIL

Whatever you say, buddy. (Rings the bell, continuing the scene.) Ace’s proposition was simple.

ACE

Throw a halloween party in the haunted bakery, then you’ll bring in plenty of new customers. Who knows, you could even put a stop to the rumors that this place is haunted! 

EVERLY

Really? That would be amazing, but...my parents...they never celebrated halloween. Ever since then, I’ve never celebrated it. In memory of them, I completely ignore halloween. I’m sorry...uhh...what’s your name?

ACE

Name’s Ace. Nice to meet you. Don’t you think it’s a bit silly, though, that you don’t celebrate halloween just because your parents didn’t? I mean, I think this would be a good opportunity to finally experience a holiday that you never got as a kid. Halloween is quite fun, you know.

EVERLY

Thanks, Ace, but I’m fine with how things are right now. Besides, my parents gave me their business. Without it, I have no idea where I would be today.

ACE

Well, if you change your mind… (Pulls a business card out from his blazer) Give me a call, Miss Everly Owens. I’d love to help you.

EVERLY

Thank you kindly, sir. You have a wonderful day, now.

(ACE leaves the bakery, making way for the FINANCIAL ADVISOR to walk in.)

ADVISOR

Good morning, Miss Owens. Lovely day, isn’t it?

GAIL

(Whispers to MEREDITH) Seriously? the financial advisor is our killer?

MEREDITH

Well, I guess he’s the banker from hell, then. I’m not letting you change villains, by the way.

GAIL

Well, shit.

ADVISOR

I’m just here to inform you that your last two loan payments didn’t reach the amount we agreed on. If you don’t pay up, I’ll have no choice but to repossess your assets.

EVERLY

No! Not my assets!

ADVISOR

Pay up or your  _ precious assets _ will be mine! aHAHAHAHA! (Runs away.)

STUDIO AUDIENCE

(Laughs.)

GAIL

So, with the fear of her assets at stake, Everly must make a decision.

EVERLY

Maybe a halloween party wouldn’t be so bad. I mean, I do like parties… But what about my family? What will they think?

(A wooden sign with the phrase “Live Laugh Love” across it begins to glow. EVERLY notices it glowing.)

EVERLY

My mom...Karen Owens. She may have not liked Halloween due to its perpetuation of violence in children’s media, but...she would do anything for her bakery…

(The sign stops glowing.)

EVERLY

I’ve made up my mind. I’m throwing a halloween party!

(ACE runs into the bakery.)

ACE

Wow! You’re really having a halloween party! That’s amazing!

EVERLY

Wow! You’re here fast! Since you’re here, though, and the whole party was your idea, wanna help me decorate?

ACE

I’d love to. Wanna head to my place to pick up some decorations?

EVERLY

Yeah, definitely! I just need to lock up first.

ACE

Alright, I’ll meet your outside then give you the address.

EVERLY

Okay.

(ACE exits the bakery. EVERLY lingers by the door, tapping her nails against her keys.)

EVERLY

I mean, sure, he’s cute. He’s sweet. He’s making such a big sacrifice for me and I can’t help but…like him… I like him! But...why? I left my first husband and have never loved since… 

ACE

(From outside the bakery,) Is everything alright? You’ve been standing there for a while.

EVERLY

Oh, I’m fine. I was just thinking.

(EVERLY steps outside and locks the bakery door)

ACE

What were you thinking about?

EVERLY

Oh, just the fact that...I need a ride to wherever we’re getting the decorations. I don’t live far, so I usually just walk to work.

ACE

Well, I’d be happy to help ya with that, Miss Everly Owens.

EVERLY

Oh- Uhh- Just Everly, please.

(ACE nods, opening the car door for EVERLY. After both of them are in the car, they drive away.)

GAIL

And so our two party planners are off to gather some supplies. Meanwhile, however, evil is lurking just around the corner.

(The camera pans to some generic bank.)

FINANCIAL ADVISOR

Mwahahaha! Now  _ I  _ will have the upper hand!

(MAINE, the assistant to the FINANCIAL ADVISOR, enters.)

MAINE

I have your coffee, sir. Is there anything else I can-

ADVISOR

Maine, did you, by any chance, remember to mix my latte the way I like it?

MAINE

Well- I- Uhh-

ADVISOR

Ugh, forget it. I’ll just get it myself.

(FINANCIAL ADVISOR exits with the coffee and a pocket knife. Offstage, screams can be heard. FINANCIAL ADVISOR returns with a bloody face and a stained knife.)

ADVISOR

So where were we? Ah, yes, that little haunted house that Ace and Everly are putting in for the bakery. (Through gritted teeth,) How fucking adorable…

MAINE

Well, sir, it is for a worthy cause, and you always liked the cupcakes her grandmother would bake for you...and...well…

ADVISOR

Everly is  _ not  _ her grandmother. Her grandma would never throw a halloween party, not even to raise funds for the bakery. She would wait until Christmas or something. 

MAINE

But- It’s really not that different if you think about it...you...know?

ADVISOR

If you keep speaking to me in this manner, Maine, you may just become one of us…

MAINE

No! But I don’t wanna be a...uhh… (reads hand) vampire-demon-zombie-tarantula-hornet from hell!

ADVISOR

It’s not that bad. Trust me…

(MAINE backs into the wall, trying to escape the FINANCIAL ADVISOR)

ADVISOR

Oh, well, your day will come eventually. Come along, now. They’ve left the bakery all alone. Now is our time to strike.

GAIL

And as our villains left the bank to wreak havoc on the little bakery, our heroes were having some doubts…

(the camera pans to the car, where ACE and EVERLY are traveling to get halloween decorations.)

EVERLY

Something’s wrong at the bakery, I’m sure of it.

ACE

What, is the state of the bakery like a sixth sense or something-

MEREDITH

(rings the bell, pausing the scene) Gail. Really.

GAIL

What? I love myself a good psychological thriller.

MEREDITH

I already gave you the (reads hand) vampire-demon-zombie-tarantula-hornets from hell. I’m not giving you a sixth sense as well.

GAIL

Well, damn. (rings bell to resume the scene.)

EVERLY

Eh, it’s probably nothing. Hey, we’re here!

ACE

Actually, we’re not there yet. We still have a couple more blocks to go.

(They sit in silence for a few minutes.)

ACE

Here it is!

(They get out of the car to stand in front of the doors to Spirit Halloween.)

EVERLY

You know there’s a Spirit Halloween literally right down the street from the bakery.

ACE

Well, we’re at this location, so let’s go inside.

EVERLY

You know...you’re pretty cool, Ace.

ACE

You’re neat, too, Everly.

EVERLY

Yeah…

ACE

Yeah…

EVERLY

Okay, this is getting awkward. Let’s go in.

GAIL

And so they went inside of the Halloween store, completely unaware that a trap was being set inside of Everly’s bakery. Will they survive to see the party? Will Ace and Everly finally confess their love for one another? Will Maine escape the evil forces of the financial advisor and turn to good? Find out...right after this commercial break. What? Gotta make money off of this shitty movie somehow.

(the screen cuts to a commercial)

SPOKESWOMAN

Hi there. Do you feel empty inside? Does your life not have the meaning you desire? Is the time just ticking by while you’re wasting it...eating  _ boring  _ cereal… That’s why we have Maine Crisps!

MAINE

Aww, you guys named a cereal after me?

SPOKESWOMAN

Well, you are Anne Toastybagel’s favorite character in this universe...and is it true that you’re the sixth member of one direction?

MAINE

(laughs awkwardly at the compliment) Well, I am pretty hot. I’ll just get that out of the way right there. But from the day my name was first typed into Google Docs, I thought I’d always be some worthless side character...but to know that people actually love me, that’s the real prize. I’m just so thankful to-

SPOKESWOMAN

Okay, thank you for your many, many, words, Maine, but you’re not winning an Oscar. You have your own line of cereal, which is made with no artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives.

GAIL

That sure was a cool commercial. 

(the screen cuts back to the movie.)

GAIL

We left our heroes at Spirit Halloween while our villains were chilling at the bakery, prepared to set their traps.

MAINE

Don’t you think this is a little too much? I mean, the chainsaws attached to the walls in this hallway are a bit obvious and the axes on the ceiling aren’t even hooked up correctly. They’re not going to swing down until after the person has walked past.

ADVISOR

And what exactly is wrong with my traps?

MAINE

Well, Sir, it’s just that I have a doctorate in physics and-

ADVISOR

And are  _ you  _ the vampire here?

MAINE

(taps fingers together, looking away.) No…

ADVISOR

Exactly, so  _ don’t  _ get in my way, or you won’t like what happens next.

MAINE

Yes, sir… Wait! I just heard a car horn outside. They’re back; we have to hide!

ADVISOR

(unfolds majestic wings) Get on my back. I’ll fly us out.

GAIL

They flew away just in time, too.

EVERLY

Thank you again, Ace, for all the help you’ve given me. You’re really a great guy. If you weren’t married, I’d ask you out on a date…

ACE

Oh, I’m not married. My wife left a few years ago and I got custody of our child. 

EVERLY

But...your ring…

ACE

This is my class ring from high school, silly. It’s not even on my left hand.

(EVERLY makes the L shapes with her fingers in order to figure out which side is right and which is left.)

EVERLY

Oh...my left is your right…Sorry, I feel so stupid right now…

ACE

Don’t feel stupid. Just kiss me.

(ACE cups EVERLY’s cheeks, leaning in to press their lips together. EVERLY wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. The orchestra in the background plays much louder than before. It almost seemed as if...were those snowflakes falling around them inside the bakery?)

EVERLY

I love you, Ace.

ACE

I love you, too, Everly. Now let’s do this thing!

(There is a montage of them putting up all the halloween decorations. They aren’t sure who added the chainsaws or the axes, but they just avoid them and continue to decorate. Before they know it, the entire bakery is spooky.)

EVERLY

Oh, Ace, this is perfect! I love Halloween!

ACE

I’m so glad to hear that.

(There is a knock on the bakery door.)

EVERLY

Coming! (walks to the door and looks through peephole) Wow, we have so many guests already!

GAIL

Come on, Meredith! Let’s go to the party!

MEREDITH

We can’t, we’re not part of this story.

GAIL

But I’ve already written us in! We’re expected to be there! Everly made a loaf of pumpkin bread just for us! 

MEREDITH

You’re just gonna keep going until I say yes, aren’t you?

GAIL

Who would turn down a party as rad as this? come on, I’ll show you around after the scene cuts back to the villains discussing their plans to kill us all.

(the scene cuts to the bank, where FINANCIAL ADVISOR and MAINE are standing)

ADVISOR

We’ve done it, Maine. Soon, they will all be dead and the money they owe me will finally be in my hands.

MAINE

That’s great, sir, but what if they don’t die? How will we collect the money then?

ADVISOR

Normally, I’d tell you to shut your damn mouth...if you didn’t just give me such a good idea…

MAINE

Wh-What idea?

ADVISOR

You see, if I go into the party, they won’t trust me. They’ll think I’m only there to nag them about their unpaid loans. If only there was a way I could be there without actually being there… (gaze drops to MAINE’s neck) And I know exactly how I’m going to do it.

MAINE

No...You- You’re not going to…

ADVISOR

Oh, but I am. haha…aHAHAHA!

MAINE

Wait, Wait! Isn’t there anyone else you can infect?

ADVISOR

There’s no one since the whole city is at that party. There’s no need to be scared, though. It only hurts for a moment, then you live forever.

MAINE

But I don’t wanna be a vampire-zombie-devil-unicorn- whatever you are!

ADVISOR

Well...that’s really too bad, considering you _ don’t have a choice _ . 

(The scene cuts back to the bakery, where the party is in full swing. Decorations are strewn across the walls, snacks and drinks cover the tables, and everyone is in costume. Well, everyone except GAIL and MEREDITH, that is.)

GAIL

See? Told ya I wrote us into the script.

MEREDITH

Yeah, yeah, so what else did you change? What horrifying creature is gonna be crashing this party.

GAIL

(hides script behind back) I’m not telling you, that would be a spoiler.

MEREDITH

Fine… What was even up with that financial advisor dude, anyway?

GAIL

Oh, he’s some cross between a vampire, a demon, and some type of bee. I don’t remember exactly what I originally wrote in.

MEREDITH

Sounds kinda...freaky...I hope we never run into him while he’s not in human form.

(There is a knock at the door. The bakery gradually grows silent.)

EVERLY

Well, who could that be? Everyone who bought an invitation is accounted for.

ACE

Maybe I miscounted… It would be rude to not let a person inside, right? I’ll go count those invites again.

(Another knock at the door. A soft buzzing can be heard from the other side.)

EVERLY

I guess I’d better answer it. Let me know whan you’re done counting, okay, hon?

ACE

Alrighty, sweetheart.

(ACE and EVERLY kiss.)

STUDIO AUDIENCE

Awwwww.

(EVERLY makes her way through the crowd until she is at the door. She twists the knob and the door comes flying off its hinges. A familiar figure stands at the threshold.)

EVERLY

My financial advisor? What are you doing here? I thought I still had-

MAINE

Well, I’m flattered, really, but I’m not your financial advisor.

(MAINE steps into the room, now more easy to see. His eyes have a slight eerie glow and two grey horns sit atop his head. He flutters the bee wings attached to his back. When he smiles, he shows off two white fangs that were hiding behind his lips. On his neck were a few bite marks.)

EVERLY

So...were you infected by my financial advisor?

MAINE

Yes, in fact, I was. It’s painful, really, but that’s only until the transformation’s complete. Since I just happened to change forms pretty quickly after I was infected, I’d say it was a worthwhile experience.

EVERLY

Wait- If you’re not my financial advisor, why are you here?

MAINE

Simple. He knew that you all wouldn’t get him into the party, so he sent me instead. Genius, isn’t it? Doesn’t it just make you want to pay off your overdue loan payments?

EVERLY

But I can’t pay mine now, I don’t have-

MAINE

Then I’ll have to kill you and take the money myself.

(ACE enters)

ACE

Woah, did your financial advisor get a new haircut?

EVERLY

No, this is the dude who works for my advisor. He’s here to force everyone to pay off their debt.

MAINE

I’m Maine. You know, like the state.

ACE

Nice to meet you, but, uhh, are you sure you need to be taking measures  _ this  _ drastic in order to impress your boss? This is just too far, man.

MAINE

This is literally the only decent thing my boss has ever asked me to do. So no, I’m going to get that money or you’re all going to die.

EVERYONE EXCEPT MAINE

Oh no!

ACE

Hey, look over there! (points behind MAINE.)

MAINE

What? (looks back.)

(While MAINE is distracted, everyone escapes in different directions. The camera follows ACE and EVERLY, who are being followed by GAIL and MEREDITH in hopes that they will all survive. Soon, ACE and EVERLY hop into their car and drive away. Many other people do this as well.)

GAIL 

Well, fuck. I guess we should’ve brought our car.

MEREDITH

Wait! Maine followed all of us outside, so if we go back inside without him seeing us…

GAIL

Meredith, you’re a genius! You’re really the brains of our dynamic duo.

MEREDITH

Yeah, I’ve kinda already figured that out.

GAIL

Okay, let’s go! 

(They dash back into the bakery, which is now empty.)

MEREDITH

Quick! I think that room has an escape hatch so we don’t get cornered. (points to a room)

(When they enter the room in question, they find that it is full of metal suits of armor, which are all standing still.)

GAIL

Uhh, are you sure this is the escape hatch room?

MEREDITH

Yes, I’m sure. At least, I was sure before  _ someone  _ rewrote the script. You could have put the escape hatch anywhere in this place!

SUIT OF ARMOR

Sneeze.

GAIL

Did that suit of armor just say the word sneeze?

(As if on cue, all of the suits begin to stiffly walk forward, reaching toward GAIL and MEREDITH. Before the suits get them, they run out the door.)

MEREDITH

Without exact knowledge of every part of this estate, this place is practically a death trap. We’ll never find our way out! We’re trapped in this movie forever!

GAIL

Then why stay inside if we don’t even know where to go? Come on! I think I know a place.

(They sneak out of the bakery, running into the field behind the building. A faint buzzing can be heard.)

MAINE

(From far away) Looks like I’ve finally found the two lovebirds…

MEREDITH

Wait, lovebirds? He must think  _ we’re  _ Ace and Everly!

GAIL

Well, thank  _ god _ , because I’ve known you since we were in high school and there’s no way we could realistically be in a fulfilling relationsh-

MEREDITH

Quick! The barn! We should be safe in there.

GAIL

Good idea!

(They run to the barn as sneakily as possible, which is kind of difficult in a grassy field, but they managed to do it anyway. When they get to the barn, they run inside and board up the door.)

MEREDITH

Okay… What now? He could definitely break down this flimsy wooden door. If he did, we’d be trapped.

GAIL

Let’s hide in the hay. Then, we can figure out our escape plan.

MEREDITH

I do have to admit, though, this movie is a lot more interesting than the script I originally gave you. You know, Gail, you should really consider writing something for us sometime.

GAIL

Oh...I dunno… (blushy blushy uwu)

(Suddenly, a rustling is heard from outside)

GAIL

(Whispers,) Hide!

(They dive into a stack of hay at the back of the barn. GAIL opens the script.)

MEREDITH

Wait, I thought you left that at the bakery.

GAIL

Oh, I did, but I always keep an extra copy on me just in case... Say, I didn’t edit this one.

MEREDITH

You didn’t? (thinks for a moment) That’s wonderful!

GAIL

Wait, why is that so wonderful?

MEREDITH

Because  _ now  _ you can just read the regular script and fix the ending so we make it out alive!

GAIL

Meredith, you’re a genius! (Clears throat and reads from script.) After the party was long over, Maine hound himself alone in the barn, wondering what he was to do next. Normal, human Maine was going to stay a human.

MAINE

Why am I in a barn?

GAIL

That’s the spirit! (pauses.) Hey!

(GAIL and MEREDITH find themselves offstage once again.)

MEREDITH

It worked! We’re not in the movie anymore!

GAIL

Now, all we have to do is give Ace and Everly the happy ending they deserve. (Continues reading from script.) Without an assistant to abuse, the financial advisor eventually became a bank teller. Maine, on the other hand, is now working at the most popular bakery in the city!

EVERLY

Ace, did you hear? My bakery was just dubbed the most popular in the city!

ACE

Everly, that’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you.

(ACE and EVERLY smooch smooch)

CHILD

(runs to Ace and Everly) Mommy! Daddy!

EVERLY

Oh, hello there! (looks at ACE after the kid runs off) Do you know that kid?

ACE

Not in the slightest. You’re gonna pick up our son from soccer practice today.

EVERLY

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

ACE AND EVERLY

I love you. 

GAIL 

And they all lived happily ever after.

(As the stage goes dark, GAIL walks up to MEREDITH.)

GAIL

Hey, Meredith, you wanna watch old horror movies and eat kettle corn while our movie premiers in theaters?

MEREDITH

Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

(They stare at one another in silence for a moment.)

GAIL

Happy Halloween, Meredith.

MEREDITH

Happy Halloween, Gail. 

ANNE

Happy Halloween! Thanks for reading!


End file.
